1. |
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It’s been three years since I last held your hand
It’s been three years since you shut the door on me
When you said you didn’t need my help, you did
A nurse was called away because another person passed
The one who stayed behind looked at me “can you help me with your dad?”
We put you on your side and we brushed your teeth
It was quiet, a moment, saying goodbye to your body
And I wept in a bottle for a year
And I wept in a bottle for a year
I’d love to tell you that I got sober
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2. |
Struggling
03:24
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Struggling to keep a routine, struggling to beat a two-day streak
Oh, I struggle with a multitude of things that keep me clean
I Struggle with untying my shoes, remembering to turn off the lights in unused rooms
Or fending off impending doom or remembering you
I like to shell advice when my right to do so is thinning quickly
I like to start fights in my mind with people that stopped existing
Struggle with staying asleep, Struggle with building a bridge from my fears to dreams
I struggle with a multitude of things in quarantine
I struggle with making my bed, I struggle in the first case getting out of it
I struggle with the existential dread of how this’ll end
I like to shell advice when my right to do so is thinning quickly
I like to start fights in my mind with people that stopped existing
I like to shell advice when my right to do so is thinning quickly
I like to start fights in my mind with people that stopped existing
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3. |
From Above/Down Below
03:06
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It’s hard to see that your life is at a crossroads until its already passed
No one to blame but focus on the choices you made, the people you saved from yourself
I hope you’re well
Just finished 10 Months sitting in a drunk tank that built for myself
It comes fully equipped with memories I pushed out
Inebriated situations that hurt like hell, not just for myself
And If I say I’m seeing clearly well that’s a lie I’m not alright
But day-to-day we’re tackling different things and memories
And desperate pleas, for forgiveness
From above or down below
Take a moment, take a minute to get your things
Find a new home to hang your skin
To dry your sins
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4. |
In The Middle
03:52
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Back in March the streets were empty and now they’re filling up
With people with plans unafraid of getting hurt
Part of the problem is you and me we’re just forever free wanting to fill space with anything
I’ve had my days where I’ve done things that I shouldn’t have just to check my pulse
And I’m stuck between my needs, and what doesn’t need me
I fit quite nicely, in the middle
My brain’s about to burst and the only thing to snuff out the match is a person to person exchange of words
So, put on your mask and step outside
Or take off your mask and settle down
Back in March my thoughts were empty prepare for holing up
Cut all my ties, considered quitting my job
But part of the problem is you and me we have forever needs, needing to feel things
Like intimacy
I’ve had my days where I’ve done things that I shouldn’t have just to keep my head
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5. |
Feedback Loop
03:06
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A feedback loop where you make your own choices
Indulge in your own vices
Rearrange the chemical makeup of your brain, or don’t
A feedback loop floating from room to room
A feedback loop dictating my panicked moods
And I don’t want to be held accountable when all hell is breaking loose
All I have is 300 days and an instinct to constantly move
A feedback loop
A feedback loop
A feedback loop
A feedback loop
Tell me other reasons why to hold on while the world’s still on fire
Tell me other reasons why to hold on while the world’s still on fire
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6. |
Different Feeds
04:10
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We see the same things on different screens
We see the same things
We see the same things on different screens distorted lens TV
We see the same thing
It depends the hand that feeds your mouth’s true intent, where’s the money spent?
And check the hand for bad apples
Can ruin the barrel, while feeding you poison
Watch where you’re laying out your hands
Lay your fragile head
Am I an example?
No, I’m a symptom
We see the same things on different feeds
We see the same things on different feeds
We see the same things on different feeds distorted lens TV
We see the same things on different feeds distorted lens TV
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7. |
Letter To Dad
03:19
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Sorry I haven’t written, I’ve been busy drinking
It’s been almost 3 whole years since you died
You’ve been on my mind, the family’s been busy
Sorry I haven’t eaten, mom’s working on moving
Caitlin, Dave, and Goose are fine, stuck inside, in books
Wes is in Manhattan, slinging drinks avoiding Covid
You dodged a bullet dying before Covid came and scooped you up
I know it’s dark, but I got my humor from you
We can all get stuck, but we’re trying to improve
Don’t worry, we’ll be fine in time
Sorry I haven’t written, I’ve been busy drying
My soaked skin made of booze, here’s me telling you
It got worse before it got better, I just looked for my father and I conquered
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8. |
Twelve Step Cure
03:52
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Nine years of total uncertainty, finding another bar to drink alone
It’d never end until I am dead, so I made a change instead
Sitting in a room with people who relate to you, never pass a judging view
I just can’t
I’m full of fear, just want to be pure not the work
I want the Twelve Step Cure
The writing wasn’t on the wall, its inside a bottle label
Too bad my eyes were always crossed, couldn’t read into my thoughts until
You told the one about me where you lost hope and I saw straight for the first time in
Nine years of total uncertainty, finding another bar to drink no more
It’d never until I am dead, make me pure I want the Twelve Step Cure
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Avery Black Chicago, Illinois
All Songs Are Written And Performed By Avery Black.
linktr.ee/averysblack
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